WWW . THE 64 YEAR OLD VIRGIN . COM
TM
VIRGIN H. Q.
MERCEDES-BENZ FOR SALE
MUST SELL! SERIOUS BIDS ONLY. BEST OFFER.
A very rare car, and one of the most beautiful cars ever made.
This is a 180D, 1958.
Car has most parts, but the wrong motor was put in, does not run. The motor needs a few parts.
Paint not great, upholstery very bad.
This car has an extra specially built-in fuel tank.
The 180D has a Diesel motor giving 40 HP, and 40 miles per gallon. This is an economy car, better than many today!
Front left door lock is stuck in locked position, will not open from the outside.
Has a small dragging problem with the left rear wheel brake, needs adjustment.
The Lucky Donut
There's this one lone donut sitting on the platform.
Then a bunch of new donuts drop down to join him, and one of them says; "Hey, how did you beat us here, we were made only a bit ago?"
And the lone donut says; "I've been here a while, with the others, but they're gone now."
"You mean you didn't get picked? Why didn't you?"
"I don't know, nobody wanted me I guess. Maybe a fly landed on me or something."
"Wow, most donuts get eaten in a short time. You're lucky man."
Then all the new donuts are gone, and the lone donut is alone again.
Then a new group of donuts come down, and one of them says; "Hey, what are you doing here? This place is for only donuts."
"I'm a donut, the same as you. But I didn't get picked."
"Then you must be lucky, because most donuts don't last long."
Then all those new donuts disappear. Later a new group comes down, and one says; "Are you a donut? You're getting sort of crusty on top, and mushy on the bottom. But you have nice wavy hair. And wow, I didn't know a donut could be so lucky as you!"
"Yeah, I'm a donut, like you, but I didn't get picked. But wavy hair? I don't have hair. Oh, those must be some maggots, I had some flies land on me earlier."
Then all of those new donuts are gone. Later another group appears, and one says; "This place is for donuts only, you're in the wrong place!"
And the lone donut says; "I'm a donut, was like you, but I didn't get picked."
"You're a donut?!!! Wow, you must be the luckiest donut ever!"
"Yeah, I guess so."
JOIN THE CLUB!
Jim and Jane are both virgins and are together talking:
Out of the blue, Jane says; Hey Jim, we're both virgins, let's start a virgin club!
Jim says; Okay. What will it be about. And what do we do in the club?
So Jane starts thinking and working on a sign for the club and says; Well, we can go out places and do stuff.
You mean, like a date? People who go on dates at some point end up not virgins. And then how can we have a club?
No, I guess that won't work, will it.
What if we go to restaurants and only eat?
People go to restaurants on dates all the time, and they end up not virgins.
Well, what if we take turns, and you can come to my house one time, and I can go to yours another time?
People who go to each other's houses, end up not virgins.
But we can be together, can't we?
As long as there's no hugs or kisses. I've seen it for the millionth time in shows; as soon as a man and a woman kiss, then the next thing we see is they're having sex. And people who have sex can't be virgins. So we would have no club.
Then Ben happens to come by, and sees Jane's sign that she has made, and he says; A virgin club?
And Jane says, Yeah, both Jim and I are virgins, and we're starting a club!
And Ben says, Ya know, I happen to be a virgin, can I join?
Sure you can!
So Ben says; So what do we do in this virgin club?
And both Jane and Jim reply in unison; NOTHING!
A SONG?
"Women"
Why were you not there for me, woman.
Why were you never there or was it me.
Why were you never there for me, woman.
I kept waiting, did you not see.
Why did you never show up, woman.
I kept waiting for you to come.
Why weren't you there for me, woman.
Or did you think I only a bum.
Why did you only give me a glance, woman.
Why did you never give me a chance.
Why was it all about the other guys, woman.
Why were you so sure to pass me by.
Why was it all about the other guys, woman.
It seems I could have been a tree.
Why did you keep passing me by, woman.
Why were you so sure to flee.
Why was I never good enough for you, woman.
It was like I was a flea.
I waited for many years until I was old.
And you never came to me.
Why did you not like me, woman.
Why was it never me.
For much of my life, I’ve been working on various projects, and I never get paid for any of the work I do on them. I’m very much like Vincent Van Gogh, except that he had only one major interest, I have many.
He had only one major problem, I have nine! And like his brain, mine doesn’t work near as well as most people’s brains work. So like him, I can’t do what most people can do, but no one else in the world can do what I can do. When most people are pushing 20 pounds uphill, I’m pushing more like 200.
This means that I must be stronger, not stronger physically, stronger mentally. Most things are much more difficult for me to do than they are for most people. While most people have a smooth path to walk through life, me and Vincent have traveled over rocky ground our whole life.
Vincent was doomed, to die, known, or unknown to the world, without ever getting paid for his work. It seems the same with me. And like me, his brain didn’t work well enough for him to be able to make money like most people can.
And like me, he was poisoned. So he ended up concentrating on painting pictures - which only helped to poison him more.
But now there’s the internet; with websites. And now I have a website, which was what Vincent could not have. So please, spread the word about my websites.
The point came in Vincent’s life in which everything became too much for him, and he gave up on life.
And like Vincent, I’ve suffered for a very long time, but I’m not ready to give up yet.