Talk to a Tree
Note; the author of this book has been many times very impressed with what some other humans can do and have done. But in this story, he is venting his great frustration, irritation, and aggravation with the average dodo headed human, and with God, not against all humans.
The Loneliest Man who Talked to a Tree
(Heading into Oblivion)
(Descent to Hell)
Why did the man talk to this tree? It wasn't the greatest tree in the world. But it was well balanced, and seemed more balanced than any human the man had talked to. And it was a nice tree, and it didn't say any absurd thing. And the tree was there, when no one else was.
So this man would come every so often to talk to this tree. And the tree was a very good listener, at least as good it seemed, than any human was. The man would usually come to the tree being excited about some sort of creation or project the man had been working on, to tell the tree all about it. For he was excited to tell someone about it, but the few people he knew, time after time, very much disappointed him, and one of those people reminded him very much of a tree, particularly the unchanging bark on a tree. No one would listen to him anymore than a tree, so why not be talking to a tree?
The man knew he was smart, and he had many great ideas. And he could figure out things that it seemed no one else could figure out, and so he wanted to share those ideas with someone. But other humans he did not get along with, they would not, or could not, relate to his pursuits. They had it easy, and he struggled for many years with problems. So there was no one he could relate to, and so no one he could confide in. All the humans around him were dodo headed, and so did not listen to him.
The tree would not ask stupid questions and the tree had no problem comprehending because the tree knew nothing.
With humans, he was not impressed with their lack of precision, such as many times humans say; "a couple of days...", or "a couple of cars..." That's not what "a couple" is. And sometimes he would here a human say; "I don't know nothing", which would mean he did know something. The man would wonder didn't this man go to school? Didn't he learn anything in school? He would wonder more so because he himself had only a third grade education. Despite his lack of education, he tried to do his best and he saw other humans around him falling short of his standards.
But he tried and tried sharing his ideas with humans anyway, for what else was he to do? Through the years the man wasted much time talking and showing his things to this person, or to that person, thinking that someone would have some interest in what he was trying to do, and so joining in to help. For he couldn't manage all on his own. But no one would join in. There was no one who had any interest: No one was smart enough, or like minded enough, the man could not find such people in his life. So the man mostly gave up on trying to share his projects with humans. Unlike with most humans, life was difficult for him. Most had it easy.
For it was a struggle for the man to do things, and he did not know why. For a very long time, the man believed that if he made something that he knew was great, then others would recognize it as great, and so he would therefore begin to get somewhere in his life. But that's not what happened. That's not the way his life went. Maybe he watched too much television.
So giving up on humans, the man would come, again and again, telling the tree his ideas, ideas to many perhaps sounding stupid, but the tree did not scoff at what he said. He would also tell the tree what he had recently done, and showed the tree things. And the tree was never busy doing something else or not paying attention. And no one would pay any attention to him, at least no more than anything else he did in his life.
Except that one day, one of those Jesus freaks came to talk, and the man said to the guy: Hey, Jesus doesn't listen to me any more than a tree, so bug off.
In the beginning, the man had a bunch of favorite things of interest, and many projects to do. But as time went on, he wasn't able to get anything done, he was poor, had a lot of problems, had no social life, and any family or "friend" gave him barely any more help than a tree would. He couldn't do it all himself, as no one can. He was totally alone. But he could tell his ideas and troubles to the tree.
He could also come and tell the tree, all about how stupid and ignorant humans from his point of view were. Being very frustrated with others, with their low standards and their easy lives and their lack of inquisitiveness, he could go on and on and on about it. He told the tree that as well as the word "couple", that humans have lost track of the meaning of a bunch of words for example, such as; "unique" and "evening" and "hideous". He found other humans to be careless about things that he would not be careless about. He told the tree that humans don't know the meaning of these words anymore, and they don't seem to care. He told the tree that he is something of a word expert, and that the word hideous for example does not mean ugly at all, that ugly means ugly, and that hideous means to be hiding something. He tells the tree that humans tend to get everything mixed up because they get easily confused about things, and that it seems that it is their nature to do so. He also explains to the tree that no one word means the same thing as what another word means, except for, he points out to the tree, regional things, such as hazel nuts and filbert nuts, are the same nut. And in the States, we call it a truck, when in England, they call a truck a lorry. And so words are not interchangeable as most humans think, and that this is one of the ways that humans go so very wrong with words. He goes on to tell the tree that humans say; "really unique", "very unique", "more unique', "such a unique...", "entirely unique" "uniquely suited", and "incredibly unique", which shows that they don't know what the word means! He tells the tree that unique means; the only one in existence of it's type. And so it does not simply mean unusual, and that unusual means unusual. He also tells the tree, that humans are very hideous, and when it comes to really getting to know another human, it's like opening a can of parasites; he doesn't like what he finds. But with trees, what you see is what you get: You can see all the branches and where they go, what sort of leaves the the tree has, and so on. But with humans, it's all hidden, and not only that, but everything a human can say can be a lie, and that trees don't lie. Furthermore, virtually all humans are liars, they favor themselves all the time, and virtually all businesses are liars with their NINE PRICE LIE, and all sorts of other lying gimmicks to get people to give them their money. He told the tree that almost all prices that humans put on things end with a nine, or something close to it. This is because they are lying to everyone, trying to get them to think that they are paying less for something than what they are actually paying. This is dishonest behavior. So he says to the tree, if the tree could see, it could look around at all the nines; all the humans telling lies.
Also, he tells the tree; but when it comes to a percentage off of something, they won't use the nine price lie, such as if something is 20 percent off. They won't have it at "19 percent off" for example. Because in this situation, they don't want people to think that it's less than it is. Also he says to the tree, that one business claimed they were giving 10 percent off all the time. If it's all the time, it can't be 10 percent off. That's like saying that most humans are above average.
The man wonders; why does it seem that humans aren't near as smart as he is? Why aren't they smarter than they are? Why aren't they smart enough than to allow all of these shenanigans being done by businesses? The man tells the tree that all of his life, he has never known most businesses to have not done this sort of nonsense. He tells the tree that he would never do these things himself because he is honest and smarter and so therefore knows what it's all about when most humans don't seem to have a clue.
He also tells the tree that humans don't know a lot of other things that he knows, and yet they all have much better educations than he does. Why don't they know these things? Such as the difference between a bag and a sack, a road and a street, a model and a replica, a tool and an instrument, a bolt and a screw, a car and a truck... It's not like the man is expecting others to know odd things: These are everyday things that are in most people's lives.
Humans, for example, usually go to a market in either a car or a truck. To get there, they travel on either a road or a street. They might buy a tool or an instrument. The things they buy are put in either a bag or a sack. This is not rocket science! These are everyday things. He wonders why they weren't taught these things in school. But soon thinks of the answer; it's because the teachers themselves don't know. He then scorns the thought that instead, they are taught things that they will never need to know about in their lifetimes.
The man is different, and he knows he's different, he thinks differently; he wants to know and figure out things that most humans don't care about. And things that most humans think have already been figured out. He is very meticulous. He tells the tree a story that long ago all humans spoke the same language, and that they were all in one place on the planet, and so everyone on earth believed in God, because humans were smarter then than they are now. But then God did not like what they had decided to do, and so He came and messed them up, so that what they thought they were saying to each other was not what came out of their mouths, and so no one could know what another was saying, so they had to put all of their efforts into trying to communicate with one other person... And so this was the beginning of all the languages on earth because everyone was using a different "name" for everything. This is what God did to every one of His believers that were in the world, He messed up all of their brains. He could have been nicer about it by telling them: "Stop building that tower." "If you don't stop with that tower, I will mess you all up so that you will be babbling nonsense."
He also tells the tree that the three most abused words that humans use are "may", and ''Love" and "good". They use "may" instead of the word "might". Much of the time they use "love" to mean sex. And they use "good" in all sorts of wrong ways, such as if they taste something that they like, then they say that it is "good", but they did not read the list of ingredients. So it could have a number of poisons in it that the maker put in it, and yet they think that it is good. And yes, some food manufacturers do put poisons and other things that should not be there in the food that they make. Anything that humans like or that they see as pleasant they call "good", and so the true meaning has been lost.
All on his own, with no help from anyone, the man figured out a bunch of things, and no one cared. The years went by, and he had forgotten some of it. For these things did not help him any in his life, as nothing ever did. He kept poor notes or no notes at all, for he could not spell, he had a lot of problems. Years later he had trouble reading and trying to figure out his own notes.
He noticed that old people are worse when it comes to noticing things, and women better than men, kids are the best, and old men are the worst, and that he did not want to end up like that.
He also noticed that humans tended to get things backwards, he told the tree that humans believe that it is the man's body that determines if a woman is going to have a boy or a girl. But that's not true, it's the woman's body that determines it. If a woman is a "Lanky Type", he tells the tree, she will tend to have more girls than boys. If she is a "Hunky Type", she will tend to have more boys than girls. He makes a list and tells the tree all about it, and tells the tree his list of well known celebrity names by group. And here is the list:
LANKY TYPE: Connie Sellecca, Audrey hepburn, Janet Fielding, Jessica Alba, Gillian Anderson, Julia Roberts, Emma Roberts. Erin Grey, Kristin Kreuk, Amanda Bynes, Cheryl Cole.
HUNKY TYPE: Raquel Welch, Farrah Fawcett, Madonna, Brooke Shields, Christy Alley, Pamela Sue martin, Sarah Sutton, Anne Hathaway, Miley Cyrus, Amber Tamblyn, Chloe Grace Moretz. But he adds that it's more difficult to know with celebrities and hopes he has not made mistakes, and that it would be best with noncelebrities, because celebrities are not exactly normal people and that there are other factors involved such as if a woman is very active or the opposite, then it reverses what will happen, according to the man's theory. And that celebrities can do a lot of that depending on if she has a current job or not. And that a lot of them half-starve themselves to keep themselves the star that they are. But he tells the tree that he needs to stay with celebrities because people know about them. And so his list of celebrities might not pan out correctly, but says that he knows that he's on to something.
But as with everything else, nothing ever works out for him. But he was smart, why does nothing ever work? Why can't he do things? He had told the tree that humans aren't all that smart, and that he was smarter. He could tell the tree that almost every day he noticed some dumb thing that humans were doing. He could go on and on about their lack of smarts. The man told the tree that he thinks that those races in which race cars go round and round in a circle is a stupid sort of race, and that races such as these are not a real race. The man tells the tree that he can beat all of those race cars on foot: He can walk to the finish line, and then when the race cars finally get there, he can say; "Hey, what took you so long? I've been standing here waiting."
Being disgusted with humans he told the tree that he was a bit surprised that they were smart enough to know how to wipe their own butts. But not smart enough to know how to poop: A toilet is not only not smart, but messy, and can take a bunch of toilet paper, and it's no wonder that they buy so much of it. He tells the tree that he hasn't bought any toilet paper in decades, which is best for him because he is poor. He told the tree that when he did last buy toilet paper, was many years ago, and that was for a special project that he wanted to do, but that he was never able to work on. He prepares boxes to poop in, and because his poop many times has a neat or sweet odor to it, and sometimes is deliciously fragrant, he calls them pooppourri boxes. And he usually poops in 30 seconds or less, in less time than it takes a dog, and without his legs shaking. He doesn't like to waste time.
He tells the tree that it is mind-boggling to him that humans can go to the moon, but they can't figure out how to design a bar of soap. They can design a jet engine, but they can't figure out how to design a fly swatter. He tells the tree that he is often mind-boggled by humans.
He tells the tree that one of the perplexing things about humans is that there are these companies that boast about the amount of time that their business has been in existence, such as a hundred years or more, by putting on their package what year it was that they started, such as with bars of soap. One of them says; "SINCE 1839". So they've been making the same stupid bar of soap for not far from two hundred years? And they have not improved it in all that time? They might as well stick a sign on their foreheads saying; "Hey look, I'm stupid". Mind-boggling. Mind-boggling more so because bars of soap so very much needs improving.
Bicycles is another sore point for him he tells the tree; that in his view, they haven't brought the bicycle out of the stone age from the beginning of bicycles! Not only that, but that they have been going backwards. These idiots who design bicycles, are so obsessed with lightness, and seeing the bicycle as only a toy, that they have been basically making expensive junk that are not practical things. Years ago, the man had a bike, that by today's standards is a primitive bike; it was not lightweight, it did have aluminum wheels at first, but the man got rid of those because they were junk, and changed to steel wheels, and it had on it a heavy chain and lock to lock it up with. But on this bike, the man could do zero to 20 mph in 4 seconds. He could not do that with a new "modern" bike, because they make them so stupidly now. But with that bike, he could never get above 27 mph with his own power. But that might have been because the bike was not geared higher than that. But bikes are so stupidly designed, that it's very dangerous to go any high speed on them.
"The bike", very much needs to be made safer, given more wheels than 2, given a hull for aerodynamics, given a "trunk" to carry things, and geared so that a person can have some chance at keeping up with (motor) traffic. The man has never seen the bicycle as a toy. And furthermore, the man had to rely on a bike for years as his only transportation. The wheels of bikes are so bad that they can easily collapse, causing a wreck. And the tires are so bad that one can have flats all the time. So the man did a clever thing; he had a tire inside a tire on his bike.
Many times he could tell the tree about stupid and bizarre things or ways of thinking that humans would do. One day, there was this man who had a super calculator. He told the man that it gave him messages about what was going to happen. So he showed the man: The man was puzzled when he turned the device upside down and started punching numbers. After awhile, the guy saw what he was looking for; in the upside down numbers, he was able to read "oil spike", and he said, "see, oil spike, the price of oil is going to go up" or something to that effect. And then he showed the man the newspaper headline that also said something to that effect. The man was mind-boggled. He was thinking; can humans really be this stupid? All that man was doing was manipulating that device to show him something that he already knew about... But there's many things like this about humans the man tells the tree; they think in such bizarre ways fooling themselves. The man is a very logical thinker, and so is not fooled by the weird things that humans come up with, when many others are fooled.
He tells the tree, that humans have a great capacity to fool themselves. Such as those people who believe in weird and bizarre things that have little or nothing to do with facts, such as the theory of evolution, reincarnation, aliens, alternate universes, time travel, flatlanders, numerology, and the like. The man thinks about things that most people don't, but more importantly, he is able to analyze something down to it's core.
He thought a lot about gravity, and it seems to him that they got that backwards: He told the tree that humans believe that gravity pulls things down. It seemed to him that gravity pushes, not pulls, and of course to most humans this sounds stupid, but not to the tree. And so he told the tree all about his theory of gravity. And he goes on to tell the tree that two famous humans named Newton and Einstein are thought to have been experts on gravity, but neither one had a theory as to what gravity is, and furthermore, neither one knew what gravity is because they weren't smart enough.
He told the tree about the human's stupid belief in the theory of evolution, and that if it was a boat, it would sink in 5 seconds from all the holes in it. And he said that if the Christians weren't so stupid, they would not have allowed the theory of evolution to become predominant. Although, he regarded himself to be a Christian for much of his life, but a much smarter one. He could go on and on about how humans in general were so very stupid. He told the tree that they are so stupid that if most people started saying something to the effect of that the sky was green, and grass was blue, then most people would believe it. And why would they believe it? They would say; "It must be true because everyone is saying it." He wondered why it seemed that he was much smarter than everyone else.
And Christians, why are they so lame and do-nothing stupid people? Why are they not involved in doing things in the media and the entertainment industry and doing science shows? Why do they let the evolutionists do it all? It's no wonder that the world is as messed up as it is. This is the way Christians are, do-nothing people in the world. The world is a much crappier place than it should be.
If the man had not been smart, and known that he was smart, his life was so miserable that he might have killed himself early on, like what happens to some humans. But the man kept thinking; someday, his life would not be bad, and because he knew he was smart, he was hoping to be able to do some great things. But the years went on. And so the unending quandary was, that if he was smart, especially if he was maybe the smartest person in the world, then why couldn't he get anywhere in his life??? After all, if he was really really smart, then making money and other things should be easy for him, and that he should be able to become at least one of the richest people on the planet. But instead, making money was very difficult for him, and as for as that goes, doing almost anything was very difficult for him. He could spend a lot of time thinking about things and the things that he wanted to do, and making plans... But when it came to doing things, he was so tired much of the time and was so bogged down by such abundant problems, that it was very difficult for him to actually get done what he wanted to do. He would come to his mother and complain why he was not getting anywhere in his life. And she would reply; "You have to start at the bottom." And he would say; "But I've been at the bottom for my whole life! What amount of years does it take to not be at the bottom?!"
Eventually he had to conclude that for other people making money is easy and that it doesn't take any smarts. Because he could see that they were not very smart, and that doing the jobs that they did, did not take a lot of smarts. After all, most jobs are not "rocket science" as they say. But with him, other factors were involved because other humans do not have the tremendous problems and hindrances that he has had. Others had it easy. He would see it strange, when he would see others complain about something, when they had it so much easier than he did.
He eventually became very annoyed that with others who did have problems that were apparent or obvious, they got some sort of help, or at least a recognition that they had a problem. But with the man, the only thing he got was put downs, gripes and ridicule, about what he was not getting done. No one around him was happy with him or gave him any respect, except some strangers. Generally, he was nice to the people who he did not know, because they did not treat him badly, as his family did. And so he became more and more irritated with his family, and with normal people in general, because they can do what they want, when they want to do it, and the man can't. And so no one around him believed that he had any smarts. Certainly not his family, and strangers did not know him.
And so, with the people who should have known better, he had to do that, not only saying it to them, but to himself also. Because all he got from them was negativity over and over again about the things that he was not good at and they would never say that he was good at doing anything important. Not only that, but any and all the things that he was good at, they would say; "It's a shame you're not doing something constructive."
So if the man was prone to commit suicide, he would have done so, many years ago, on account of the way his family treated him, if he had not been strong. But the man was strong, he had a very strong mind, much stronger than the minds his family had, and he was much smarter.
Furthermore, he had made a creation and gave it to his father. He also made a few extremely concise biblical statements that were also suitable for framing as the creation was suitable. But did his parents put them on any walls in there house? No. It seems to the man that most parents would want to display something in there house that their child had done. But no, even though they were supposedly Christians, they would have nothing to do with putting anything that the man had made, displayed on the walls of their house. The full extent of this did not become fully known to the man until after his father had died, and his father's things were thrown away and he found that creation that he had made and given, and thought that his father was going to have it framed, and hung on the wall. But no, it was found having been thrown away, inside the file folder where his father had put it, under the man's name, as if the man had some sort of disease, and his creation was evidence to be filed away of his sickness. This is the way the man was treated by his parents. So it's no wonder that the man could not get anywhere in his life, with his parents not helping him to do anything that he was wanting to do in his life. So how could he have been successful with his family wanting nothing to do with what the man wanted to do in his life?
The man kept on hoping that his life would get better. The man's most favorite song was Leonard Nimoy's "I Search for Tomorrow". And for many years he could not play it without it making him cry. Eventually he found the lyrics, worked on it, and was able to alter the lyrics a bit to match his own life more closely.
The man had made a, what the man called, "a heat beam motor". And it might have worked, a bit. It was a beginning. He made it at his parents house and kept it there, no other place for it. He put a lot of work into it. But his mother did not like seeing it go round and round, and so made the man put it upstairs. But there was no air conditioning up there, and because the man had used wax to put it together to make it easier to do, it melted and was ruined. Needless to say, his parents thought nothing of his creation.
He made some other creations, such as a calendar that wouldn't go out of date for hundreds of years. They thought nothing of this either. He could do nothing with these things, he got no help.
He also came up with a list of questions for people to answer, a sort of smartness test. But it's not the usual "smartness" test such as in game shows, that test people's knowledge, that's not smartness. And it's not the sort of "smartness" of IQ tests, that tests a person's brain function, and that's not smartness either. And he goes on to tell the tree that it's a true test of a person's smartness that is based on the mind, and not on the brain, and that humans don't know the difference because they are stupid. He gives the tree examples such as "When a dog barks, who or what is making the dog bark?" And "When a person has made money, he or she has gained it how?" He tells the tree that he has more than 30 such questions, and that humans are so stupid that they could manage to get only a few of them correct, if any.
Once upon a time, long ago now, he had very ambitious plans and ideas:
He loved cats, and so wanted his own tiger. Never got it.
He wanted a gyrocopter to fly around in. Never got it.
He loved Star Trek and the space ships, and wanted to put together the replicas of them. Never did.
He wanted to make neat designs and to design at least one special car and get it built. But designing cars is very difficult, and he had no connection to any car company. And by the way, he never had any connection to any one, group, or thing after he was put out of school. He did not grow up with computers, they were not in schools then, he hates them and other unreliable electronic devices, the infernal things, hates them and the internet because they don't work the way they should, and that makes him angry, and he doesn't like things that keep changing. He doesn't like unreliable things.
He loved music and wanted to sing and come up with his own songs, and the man regarded himself as one of the best singers in the world. But he couldn't become "a singer", and he couldn't sing the way most people can, and music remained a mystery to him and he never learned how to read music or play an instrument. And it's at this point that he wants to point out something important; he says to the tree, that there are maybe many humans like him when it comes to singing: Some humans think that they can't sing, when really they probably can. When they try to sing with nothing, and they can't hold a tune, that doesn't mean that they can't hold a tune, it only means, that like the man, they can't sing with nothing. To sing with nothing, or with only the music, the man can't do. But he can hold a tune quite well, as well as anyone, but he can't do it alone. The man calls it; singing by ear. Something that that Simon Cow, or rather Cowell, would know nothing about, because he does not know much about singing. According to Simon and many others, if you can't sing acapella, then you can't sing.
He wanted to figure out language, and make a new type of dictionary, a dictionary with which a person could find a word, without knowing how to spell it, because he himself had such trouble spelling words, because in school, he did not learn how to spell or how to do math. But that proved too much for him.
He wanted to own certain very special beautiful old cars, cars that he thinks are the most beautiful cars ever made, such as the Mercedes-Benz 180, and get around in them. And some of these cars gets 40 miles per gallon, but being poor, could not buy any of them. Even though these cars are not very expensive because most people who like old cars disfavors them.
He figured out a traffic design system that would eliminate red lights at intersections so that there would be no waiting on red lights at intersections, which would save fuel.
He worked on designing the ultimate building brick.
He wanted to make a time machine - and it would work! But he did not have the specifications he needed, and it seemed that he could not get them, and so he never got a start on it.
He wanted to design and to build a manual drive vehicle (no motor, no fuel needed) that he could do zero to twenty in 4 seconds with, and could cruise at 40 miles per hour. He wanted to do it because he was smart, and one of the best bicycle drivers in the world, and that humans were so dodo headed when it came to things like this. But he couldn't do everything that he wanted, and this would be a very difficult and expensive project.
He wanted to design starships, but that is a very difficult job also but worked on it through the years. He had trouble thinking some of the time.
He wanted to put his own show on television somehow; "The Accelerated Man". But how? He had no help and no hope...
He wanted to redesign the wheel - no, really, it would work! He worked on it for weeks making the parts for it. But he had to stop working on it and never restarted.
He wanted to do the things that most people don't think needs to be done, they think that because they are stupid, and he knew better.
He wanted to get rich with his money in stocks, because he knew it could be done, and his family had no more faith in him than a tree does. But he did not have much money to start with, and he had trouble earning it, and he did not really know enough, and he could not find the information that he needed, so he struggled in a bear market for 9 years. And then had to start selling his stocks after losing his job. It did not go well as nothing ever does for him. Then when the next bull market came, he knew it for sure, but by then he was out of money.
He wanted to get his car painted, not only for his pride, but it very much needed it, but could not get anywhere near getting it done, and his car was falling apart. But he did manage to buy a Mercedes-Benz 180. But the seller cheated him, and the car was in very poor condition, so his "dream car" was not a useable car.
He wanted to publish a book about how to make money with stocks; despite everything, he was making great achievements with his Arrows (more about this later), but he was not doing well enough with them, so unlike many humans, he could not go ahead with it because he has integrity and must be true to his word.
Then he wanted to publish another book, that if published, would have eradicated atheism, and it would have worked, because in the light of the truth, the atheists would have no place to hide. He put a huge amount of work into it for a long time. But he could unbelievably find no Christians that were interested in helping. They all stupidly said that The bible is the only book they need, and didn't think about what others need. After all that work, he felt betrayed in a way, and was surprised that Christians are really this stupid and arrogant. He knew that humans are stupid, of course, but Christians should not be this stupid! He also felt betrayed by God: Wouldn't God want such a book to get rid of all the atheists in the world? He wanted to help.
All his life, he tended to like science fiction and the unusual. And he wondered why there were no Christian science fiction stories, and he was smart enough that he knew that the people who are very much into science fiction need it, and these people are the sort that are least likely to go to church... And so he came up with his own version of Star Trek, mainly because the "Star Trek People" were doing such a crappy job of it with Next Generation, then Deep Space Nine, then Voyager, as the years went on.
The man's story would be about the beginning; about the first starship ever built, built in the year 2498. But then a group of kids accidentally launches it out into space without it's crew, and so there can be no rescue because this is the only starship... And tells the tree that his idea does not go along with Star Trek, and knows that a lot of Star Trek fans won't like that because it does not fit into Star Trek, but that he doesn't care, he's doing his own show.
He wanted to successfully do something! Something in his life! But he had too many problems and could find no one to help.
For many years he was on God's side, trying to use one talent or the other for God and Christians, but could never get anywhere and he kept wondering why. Isn't that what a person is supposed to do, to use their "light", and shine it out to the world? He very much wanted to help others, in the way that he might, because of his smarts, but he never could because no one thought he knew anything. He might have helped some people make money, or helped them with their health, but they all thought they knew better or just didn't care.
The greatest tragedy to the world, is that he could have brought some wonderful things into the world, which would have helped people, as well as himself, if only he had gotten the help he needed. He could have brought into the world some neat toys, such as the world has never seen, that kids could have played with... He could have brought into the world a great vehicle that needs no fuel... He could have brought into the world a neat show to thrill many people... But instead, he was barely keeping himself alive through the years. So not being able to help himself, or to help others, only added to his frustration.
Here was a man, who should have been at the top of the world, he was smart enough. But instead, he was at the bottom, because everyone ignores him, and he can't do it alone.
A few things that he did do is that he designed a starship. He designed several starships, and he made a bit of a story for his show that would feature them. But as with everything else, he could not do anything with his creations. He ate a lot of chocolate, which was about the only thing that could keep him going, with his life being as crappy as it was. He wanted to go to sleep for 10 years, then wake, to see if the world and life was any better. His life was very bad with all his problems, and having only the tree to talk to. For those interested, here is his theory of gravity:
(Theory of gravity here, on separate page?)
Many years went by. He struggled on, gradually getting more and more frustrated and irritated at the way his life was going. He started working on building a Star Trek Starship replica out of wood such as the world has never seen: It has working landing gear! And very cleverly done. No one in the world has ever seen such a thing, because no one has been smart enough to work it out. But he got bogged down on working on it, and if he finished it, there would be no one with any smarts to show it to anyway. He also started on one of his own starship designs in wood, but got very discouraged with that also.
Later on, he designed a special screwdriver carry-holder that held a complete set of screwdrivers, because when he wanted one, the one he wanted, he could not find. He took a photo of it and sent the photo in to a well known company, and never heard anything from them. He had sent several other great ideas to other companies, and never heard anything from them either. He couldn't get anyone to do anything unless maybe he paid them to do it. But that would only cost him money rather than making it, and they would do it only because humans want to get money, but not give it. By now, he did not have an "extra" 10 years if he could sleep; he was running out of time, and he knew that if something did not happen fairly soon, he would be too old to get it done, and maybe would no longer care.
But he couldn't get anything done. So more years went by.
No one would, or could, see his brilliance, brilliance that no one else in the world has, so no one would listen to him, and so he never could get anything done on his own, with the people around him being about as attentive to him as a tree. They all have their own life, their own wants, and they can do whatever they want to do, when they what to do it. And so they can't figure it out that the man is not like the way they are, and can't do those things that they can do, whenever they want to do them.
Not even God would listen to him. So as he got angrier and angrier with the way his life had gone, eventually he turned against God and started talking to a tree. The tree never told him that he was doing the wrong thing, or that it can't be done. The tree never made fun of him about what he wanted to do, or told him it was stupid. The tree never looked down on him as a dummy who couldn't do anything because he could not make money. The tree never gave him any trouble, many others did: Stupid humans with their stupid ways of thinking: "Don't try to do things that others do not do". The tree never told him it couldn't be done, or that he should not try.
The man does seem to live in a different world than most humans. It seems to him that most others can do what they want, and are mostly happy. But the man has never been happy. Has he been wanting too much? Was his desires too grandiose? Was he asking for too much? But he knew that if he had what he needed, he could do great things. He knew that! And many others had much more than he did. But they weren't anywhere near as smart as he was. He knew that! This caused much frustration for the man.
Maybe he was expecting too much. Especially because of all the things he had to suffer with: For many years he showered with the spiders, because of the cockroaches and other insects he had to live with in his home. Some days he would wake with ants climbing on his body. He had to breathe the dust that was in the air from the cooler. Rain poured through the roof like water from a bucket. He had no working toilet, but learned he didn't need it anyway. (The man had to live without many things.) He had no working furnace. He had no air conditioning in his car and no covered parking. He had no air conditioning where he lived in Phoenix for 33 years. He slept on the floor on paper bags. He had trouble with getting blankets washed, and so he slept on paper bags on the floor, they were free, and he did not need to wash them. And so he would number them, and they were handy for putting notes on, when he thought of something.
When normal people have problems, they go and have it taken care of. Easy. But the man could not do that for a number of reasons, only one of which would normal humans comprehend.
Also he had terrible tiredness, and many pains in his head. He had strange pains in his body for many years. His teeth would hurt for years at a time, and he could not go to a dentist, he did not have the money. His neck hurt for many years, and he could not go to a chiropractor. The sudden pains in his head would make him jerk, and if he happened to be carrying something heavy, the pain might cause him to fall. Most people if they see the jerks, have no idea what is going on, and they tend to think that he has a mental problem, which doesn't help the man any. The pains in his head are there much of the time. Most of the time when the man is trying to do something, the pains come in his head. When he tries to relax, the pains come. Sometimes when he tries to sleep, the pains come. When he gets around in his car, the pains are there. When he tries to fill out a form, the pains usually get bad. Many times when he tries to concentrate on a difficult task, the pains can get so bad that he might be forced to stop. It's as if someone is trying to stop him from doing anything. The man has a theory as to the pains in his head: Something has invaded his brain, and his brain is trying to vomit it out. But brains cannot vomit, of course. So it's like a dry heave over and over and over again, but in his head, day after day, decade after decade, because brains cannot vomit... There's never been anything that he can do about the pains in his head, other than to stop doing whatever he is doing. And he doesn't know when they will attack him. And doctors do nothing about it because they have no clue as to what is really going on, and so they think that the man has a mental problem.
The man thinks that sleep is a terrible waste of time. And when humans get to live only a few years, about half of it is wasted on sleep. But for the man, it's much worse than that: Sleep is very rarely restful for the man. Often he has pain when he's trying to sleep, and wakes feeling more tired than when he went to bed. So he dreads needing to sleep. Also, he often needs an hour or more resting after he wakes, trying to recover from the ordeal of sleeping.
Most of the time through the years, he could not go to a doctor. Many times he would use a hammer on his head instead of going to a doctor. Once in a while when he did go to a doctor, the doctors did little more for him than a tree: They all thought they knew much better than the man, so they treated the man like a dummy, so they did not tell the man what they were thinking. So many times the doctors, being stupid, tried to make it worse for him because of this, and so they would not listen to him. Many times the man would get to feeling so bad that he felt like he was dying, and so some of those instances he would go into the emergency room, which was the only thing he could afford. Most of those times, the doctors did nothing for him but make him more uncomfortable, and wasted a lot of his time, and they did not find the cause of the pain, which disappointed the man. And if he had paid, they would have taken all the money that he had without doing anything that would help him.
Doctors tend to infuriate the man because of their drug pusher thinking. Doctors tend to not want to solve things, only treat them with drugs, so that the problem might go on and on and on. But they don't like to call them the drugs that they are, they call them "medications" to make them sound friendlier.
After a long time, the man got to thinking that many doctors should be in prison, or at least their license to be a doctor should be taken away, because they think that one drug or the other will be the answer, when drugs are not the answer: Drugs don't cure anything. They have so much faith in drugs, that they think that drugs will cure everything someday. Drugs don't cure anything. Doctors like to tell people that there's no cure for this and that, when really there is, but because their drugs don't cure it, they think that there is no cure, especially when they don't look for the cause.
And they check blood pressure and do blood tests and so forth, and call that "health care", when they don't know what is going on with a person, such as what they eat, because they think that their tests will show them whatever they need to know, so they don't ask. Blood tests show only things that are progressed far enough to show up in a blood test, and that many problems that a person can have will not show up in the blood. Then when someone finds that they have a problem, no one saw it coming.
Doctors like to put more effort into "labeling" people with this ailment or that ailment, giving them names, than they do in trying to figure out the cause of the problem. And telling the person that they will need to learn to live with it, because they believe that the only thing to do for it is drugs. They don't care about finding the cause of a person's problem, but to only treat it, which often solves nothing.
And when someone is complaining of having pains, the doctors recommend that that person take a pain drug. How incompetent is that?! That's like sweeping dirt, and sweeping it under a rug. Then when the mound gets large enough, you come walking along and trip over it and fall and break your neck! The pain is there for a reason. It's like coming to a stop light, and covering it up, and then keep on going. Someone is going to get killed. And the man thinks that probably many people have died from taking drugs in this way, because it was what the doctor recommended, and that most people do exactly as the doctor thinks they should do. The pain is there for a reason, but doctors only think of drugs. If there's nothing possible to do for someone who is in pain, then sure, take a drug for the pain. But doctors want to give pain drugs without knowing what's going on. And that is very bad.
The man has never been under a doctor's care, because doctors don't care.
So now you might be thinking, why does the man go to any doctors? It's like this; when a person goes to a dictionary to learn something, is the dictionary smarter than that person? No. Doctors are not smarter than the man, but like with everyone, they know things that the man does not know. The same as the man knows things that know one else in the world knows. Did his family care? Barely any more than a tree.
Some days, he would come to the tree and talk about his stocks. He had many failures, but a few successes. He would tell the tree that he hopes he can do better with his stocks, and wondering when his losers will go up, and if they will go up. With the money that he had, he tried his best with stocks. The only way he could do anything with stocks, was with a computer. He did not have a computer, so he had to go to the library to use one. He was not a day trader, and would get to the library usually only after the markets were closed, and so he rarely ever was looking at the stocks when they were trading. When he did get to see the stocks trading, it was a strange experience. Some of the time he had to wait some time to use a computer. The computers worked very poorly and were excruciatingly slow, and most of the time the librarians were of little help when it came to the computers.
But the point came, when he could come and tell the tree about his great achievements with stocks; Black Arrows (200% of the money he put in, or more) and Silver Arrows (400% or more), and a Gold Arrow! (1,000% or more.) Did his family care? No more than a tree: After he had achieved a Gold Arrow, which by the way is not easy at all, he told his brother about it, and his brother thought nothing of it and soon forgot that he'd ever been told about it. So he wasn't going to tell about any more achievements; only to the tree. He tried and tried to make money with stocks. After some years, he achieved a Purple Arrow! (4,000% or more.) But it didn't amount to much money. He didn't have enough money to put in.
He would come and tell the tree about the great singing job he did, but could not record it, and therefore could not play it for the tree. But that would be silly, wouldn't it? It's bad enough that he's talking to a tree, don't play music! Besides, he doesn't like it when other people play their music out loud. He's not impressed with most people and the way they live their life. He doesn't like excessive noise and thinks that blowers and loud motorcycles should be made illegal, and that people who use blowers are too lazy to use a broom and that they make a lot of noise for a long time for no valid reason. He also thinks that playing loud music from a car should be illegal. He has high standards and doesn't like ordinary things. He doesn't like mediocrity; let all the ordinary people have all the ordinary things. He also tells the tree that he hates the weekends and holidays, which are mainly an opportunity for humans to goof-off, and not get work done, bah humbug. He tells the tree that humans only use holidays for fun and nothing else. For example, the 4th of July is only an excuse for them to light a bunch of fireworks, they are not celebrating anything. And Christmas is only for getting a bunch of gifts. Easter is only for hunting for eggs, and so on. He tends to see humans as lazy and delicate, and their lives are too easy. And he notes to the tree that like himself, trees don't get holidays or vacations or go to parties. He also notes that like himself, nothing much happens to a tree. He also notes, that like in his own life, if something does happen to a tree, it is probably something bad. He never had any close friends, and he could tell the tree that he and girlfriends never worked out together, because he was never at the gym at the same time they were. He could tell the tree a bunch of jokes, but knowing the tree was never going to laugh.
After many years, he had to give up on most of what he wanted to do in his life, as time moved on, and past him by. He became more and more angry with his life, and with other humans who had it so very easy; wondering why life was so very difficult for him, when it was easy for them. If he could have done really well in his life, he would have wanted to live in a starship house with 500 rooms, to give the reader an idea of his grand sort of thinking, for example. Not much chance of that ever happening. Not the way his life was going. He wanted to have all in one room, a row of all his own starships in special dust-resistant display cases of his own design. But he couldn't build his starships, much less his display cases, and besides, he didn't have a room large enough. He gave up on Star Trek, but continues to love starships, and continues to want to do his own show, and hates what Star Trek has become. He's good with photos, probably one of the best in the world, but no one knows it. He is totally pathetic, no one gives him a chance, and he cannot do what normal people can do, being sick all his life. He tells the tree his great frustration with normal people and that it's way too easy for them to make money, when it seems impossible for him to do so. How will it all end? Will he ever get anywhere in his life? Will he be a failure his entire life? When will he die? He hates God, wishes he could do something to Him. He also wishes he could give the pains in his head to doctors, then maybe they would care.
His life was very bad: The man can't seem to get anything done. As a result, he had very little confidence, there was extremely little to comfort him. He earned so little money that he never paid taxes, and had no one to talk to but the tree. But one day he got a letter from the IRS about paying taxes, so he sent them a letter that basically said; Hey, I haven't been earning any money, I can't paid taxes, so bug off. And the man never heard from the IRS again.
Unlike most humans, the man had to suffer with being in a bad mood much of the time, more so when things didn't go his way, which was most of the time. And his terrible tiredness which was much of the time, which made it more difficult for him to think. And his many pains in his head, which made him jerk, which went on and on and on.
When it came to girlfriends, he usually had one or more of four things going on; either he was too tired, or was in too much pain, or was in a bad mood, or he was in too much of a rush trying to make money, or get something done. Or the woman would totally ignore him. (And besides, they all have a guy, and he does not want some other guy's woman.) So all this made it all the more difficult when it came to him trying to get a girlfriend. So he had to mostly give up on girlfriends also, seeing that he never had one, and so therefore never coming within a million miles of getting married or having children. Which didn't help his mood any. Many times seeing couples with children would irritate him, only reminding him of what he cannot have himself. Many times when he would see an attractive woman, it would put him in a bad mood, making him sad or angry. In the Bible it says that it is not good for man to be alone. So He made woman. So why is the man alone? Where is the woman for the man? He tells the tree that this is a very whorey world, and that most humans have sex with each other at a fairly young age, but that most women act like they don't want to get near him. Is he really that ugly or unappealing? Or is there something strange about women? Are they all taken by other men? Is he The Hunchback of Rose Lane? In this world of billions of women, the man cannot find a woman for him. Why is there no woman? The man must have a woman to have children of his own, and he did want children. One day when he was in traffic stopped at a red light, he saw a woman's face that seemed so attractive, that he was about to cry from the exquisite attractiveness that she had. He was also in a "down" mood, as he often is. But he also thought to himself that she probably doesn't know what she had. Women can be extremely attractive to a man, but most women don't seem to know it. The man thinks it strange that the government gives out free condoms, but does not help a person to get a partner. "Here you go, some condoms for you." "So where's the woman I use them with?"
The man also thinks it strange that if there is not a woman for every man, then in the Bible why would God say that it is not good for man to be alone? What's the point in saying it? And so after all these years having to go without, only makes him more angry with God. Once in a while, the man has a neat dream in which there are attractive women in his life. Why does the man never get that? Is he only fooling himself that a woman would want him? But what woman would want a man who can't make money? Why was he given so much trouble in his life? Why has he been sick all his life? The man can't get a woman that he might want.
He gets so angry that he wishes that there had never been any such thing as sex, because it is such a pain. What makes it worse, is that there are women in the world that go to the dogs: They are having sex with a dog! While the man is not getting any at all, never, there are many women, some of them with attractive bodies, that are freely giving themselves to a dog! And it's not only dogs, they have sex with other beasts. This is horrible. This is the ultimate insult that a woman can give to any and all men; to have sex with a dog, instead of a man. How can they do this, to let a dog give his sperm into her most sacred life producing part of her body? It's very unholy. It seems that they cannot get pregnant from a dog, and that is a good thing. Would they do it if they could get pregnant? Yes, they would, for the same reason that they have been doing it. Then there would be the inevitable "accidents" with them getting pregnant. And what would the world do with those weird creatures that would be half human and half something else? The dogs are also victimized. Humans are the only evil creatures on this planet.
The man thinks that there are many attractive women, and he sees many of them but he keeps on going passing them by. He does not know what to say to them, and his problems don't help any. And he has nothing to offer them, nothing to impress them with, and no money to support them. He is hopeless.
But women are different, like from another planet.
And another important difference with women he tells the tree, is that with hitchhiking, men will pick up women, but women won't pick up men. And a large part of this is because men have a sex drive, and women don't. So men are out looking for women because they are horny, but women are not out looking for men because women aren't horny, or at least not nearly as much as men are. So men are driven to do what they do, and women are not driven. And they don't like what the man likes. They like totally different things from what the man likes, and so the man cannot relate to women. The woman does not want the same thing as what the man wants. And so the man does not know what to do with a woman, or what to say. Most of this difference relates to the man wanting to get close to her and ultimately wanting to get married and have sex, but is the woman wanting that? Does she see the man in that way? Because that's the way a man sees a woman, at least the sex part. After all, why a woman rather than another man? It is very difficult for men to be only friends with an attractive woman. But what's so very difficult, is that the woman doesn't seem to have a clue, or maybe she is simply using the man to have herself some fun. Maybe the woman doesn't know what she wants. But for the man, the first requirement is that he must want to have sex with her, and that there are many women that he doesn't want to have sex with. The second requirement for the man, is that there must be some important things in common that they have. But that he never gets to the second one, because he does not know her. The man very much knows why a man wants a woman, but it has remained a great mystery to him why a woman would want a man. And that this thinking does not help the man's confidence any. And as far as that goes, absolutely nothing in the man's life helps his confidence, and that tends to be a problem. No woman has ever told the man that she wants him.
The man suspects that men see women very differently as women see men: It's that women see men as only a shape, nothing else, nothing more. Men do not see a woman as only a body that has a certain shape, he is projecting much more into it. Her body is much more than only a body, it is a thing to connect to and to bond with, in order to achieve a goal that will accomplish something that is greater than solely themselves alone. In other words, he wants to give her his sperm! Of which, a woman cannot, and does not give to a man, because women have nothing physical to give.
On television, the man once heard a woman say; "Everyone has a butt". The woman was saying that as to say that it's okay to show people's butts meaning that all butts are the same, as if they are only an ordinary part of everyone's body because everyone has one. No, that's wrong. The man suspects that when a woman sees a man's butt, she will see it as cute, and nothing more, because to her, it is only a butt. But to a man, a woman's butt IS NOT only a butt, it is much more!
So while women might be wanting only some pleasure WITH a man, a man wants to GIVE to a woman, if only to "score" as they say. And because the man has never gotten a woman, he has been denied this giving. And it's that that hurts, as well as no children. But the man has never wanted the wrong woman. But why has she never been there? Very sad.
The man thinks that maybe he has come upon the "disconnect" between men and women. That while women are not wanting any particular thing, men are wanting a specific thing. It seems that women can go a long time without sex. The man imagines that for a woman not having sex, is like not eating a certain food for a long time, a person can go without for a long time. Then when that food is eaten, sure, it can be very enjoyable. But sex for a man is very different: He is going to have sex whether he wants to or not; either he makes it happen, or it will happen in his sleep. But when he gets it, then he can move on and think about other things. This is why the man cannot forget about women, the desire remains.
Another great difference between women and the man, is that the man had a very different life: Women don't eat out of jars and cans, they must mix their food all together to eat it, and they drink coffee all the time, and they eat salad and salad dressing, yuck! The man has never drank coffee and doesn't know what a chamomile or a latte is, he's never had one. One time, the man tried eating two foods together; a bite of cheese, then a bite of bread, then a bite of cheese, an then a bite of bread... Also, he's too poor to eat at restaurants. He also finds it difficult to be with most people, because he cannot relate to them, anymore than they can relate to him. He doesn't like to be with the stupid ones, the people who use foul language, who smoke and drinks liquor and does drugs, and other dumb things, which tends to eliminate just about everyone. But he very much wanted girlfriends, at least one! But he wasn't able to get one, and they all past him by, the same as life past him by. When he was younger and maybe a bit handsome, they past him by. When he got older, they past him by. Humans have gotten crazier and crazier... Now some women put artificial boogers in her nose, at least that's what it seems like at first. Some put a ring in her nose, like a man puts a ring in a cow's nose, to make it easier to make the cow do what he wants. Some puts lots of metal in their faces. It's like they are asking for trouble with infections. Some have a bunch of tattoos. Some have weird colored hair. With some, the man is not sure if it's a woman or a man or an "it". But that the first problem is himself and his situation, but with women there's a lot of things about them anymore that he doesn't like, they've been getting too weird, and many of them are so much into their hand held devices, that that's all they look at. He saw a man with a brite orange beard, and another man with long pointed artificial finger nails, it was a weird site. Now weirdness is the normal thing.
And now humans are so stupid that some don't know which gender they are. And that the country and the world is buying into this nonsense, which only serves to prove the man's point that humans are getting dumber and dumber as time goes on.
But as the years went by, it became more and more hopeless for him. Because the woman that he might want, would see him as just an old man, because he does not want an old woman. Because a woman his age would be an old woman. At first, the woman that he wanted would have been about his age, and he never stopped wanting that woman. So if there was a woman that was his age, then he missed her. Why would God let that happen?
Through the years, he had tried churches. But Christians are so obsessed with simply being there in church, they have lost track of what church is and what it is for. So he never found any friends at church, man or woman. And when he got older, if he was put in a group, then it was either old people, or married couples, both of which he did not belong, and they would not put him in with the young people. He doesn't see himself as old, he prefers to think of himself as young minded. So there was no place for him. He cannot relate to old people and especially not married people, certainly they are not virgins.
Eventually he had to conclude that there is no woman in this world for him; no one that he could get along with, no one smart enough, no one he could relate to, or could relate to him, and so most likely, he will never have kids of his own. And this only makes him more angry with God. And he doesn't want someone else's kids, the spoiled brats!
The man has never loved a human; they don't seem to be loveable for one reason or the other. Mostly the only humans that the man has really been interested in are some celebrities that he has watched in shows. But he knows that they are much too far away, and that they would not be interested in him anyway. And he also knows that a person really can't know a celebrity because they are not the characters that they play. Some very lonely people who have no one, like the man, get a doll, and talk to that instead. But dolls cost money, and how would it be any better than a tree, and trees are free. Are trees loveable? Carl Sagan thought so.
The point came in the man's life that he became aware that it's entirely possible for a man to live out his entire life without ever having a girlfriend. Shows about romance could not be further from the truth! In real life, men and women simply don't get together like that! None of that has never happened for the man. Almost never does an attractive woman ever say a word to the man! It doesn't happen. As far as he's concerned, that sort of romance is total fantasy! There are a multitude of these shows of fantasy. And almost none of them he likes.
He started getting to the point of "why bother" with trying to get a girlfriend. And how is one woman any better than another? If the man had a choice, why pick one over another? Aren't they all about as dumb? And the man has gone most of his life alone, so why would he need a woman now? And they would cost money, and maybe they would be trouble, and the man has no income, and he really didn't know how to be a boyfriend anyway, having never been one. Sour grapes.
Life was a struggle, many days he was barely getting by, some days he had trouble keeping himself together. How could he have ever had a woman? And he doesn't like prostitutes. And as far as that goes, he doesn't like people that he knows nothing about, which only makes it more difficult. One day he saw an attractive woman wearing an interesting dress, walking into a market place as he was walking out, he stopped and looked, then he turned and walked away and he was thinking; "She's no better than any one else, don't bother". And he knows nothing about her. And this is the way it is with most or all women; he doesn't know her.
He knows the tree, he knows all about the tree, he knows where it lives, he knows where the tree will be, the tree won't move away, or change it's phone number...
Other than the obvious problems, the man wondered why it was that it seemed that he could never finish anything. Perhaps it was that deep down he knew that at the end, he would not be able to do anything with it, being all alone without help: He could make the most fantastic thing, and no one to show it to, but the tree. Shows are TOTALLY WRONG: They show a character coming up with a great invention or a wonderful thing, and the next thing we see is he has a bunch of money. NO, reality is not like that! The man has come up with many great things, and there's no money, because there is no one there but the man! The only way that the man could make a great thing and then immediately have money, would be to make a machine that prints money!!!
Making a great thing and finishing it is a great accomplishment for the man. But in the end, it does very little for him; it doesn't change his life any, and it doesn't bring in any money, or anything else. Those people who say that a person should be happy quietly doing their own thing and not wanting to share it to the world, have a mind that has been TOTALLY TWISTED, so that these people cannot think rationally. The man is a very rational person, and so knows when someone is talking nonsense.
The man began thinking, if the man had been a woman, "his" life would have been totally different. Even if "he" was not pretty, being as horny as guys are, "he" would have had boyfriends. Women have no idea what it's like to have a sex drive! This is the reason that men generally don't live as long as women, because men must suffer with a sex drive. There's pain involved in having a sex drive but to not get a woman, it hurts! Women don't feel pain when they look at a man.
Women think that they have a boyfriend because it was what she wanted. But no, it's what he wanted! Try saying no to them! This is how they are all taken, the men get them, but let's the woman think that it was her idea. But for the man, he is mostly ignored, in favor of some goofy faced guy such as Ben Affleck. But he couldn't get along with most women, so sour grapes. And he doesn't want some other man's woman, he wants a virgin, like himself.
In desperation, the man began wishing that he had been a female from the beginning so that he would not have had a sex drive. Women don't have a clue. A pretty woman has everything! Men have an ugly bunch between his legs, wanting, wanting, wanting... Between her legs, women are free! A well shaped woman's body to a man is like a sleek sports car. And actually the front ends of a few sports cars are shaped very much like a woman's volva.
Through the years, nothing was working. But the man had a lot of talent. But how to find someone who might be interested in helping? The world is full of humans. In desperation, the man decided that he had to have a website. Some website people thought it was strange that he wanted a website when he did not have a computer. In trying to get one of his own, one by one, all 5 people that he paid to make his website, did him wrong. It was the fourth guy who was a total crook; the guy had stolen more than $900 from the man, and did absolutely nothing for the money. And the police would do nothing about it. He tells the tree that it is important to point out that the smartest of humans can be fooled, because DESPERATION MAKES A SMART PERSON STUPID. And that no one should be left on their own like the man has been, to get that desperate. And these crazy guys who do websites for people think in a strange way: They think that they must be designing a person's website themselves, even if a person tells them what he wants, they must do it differently than what they were told. Excuse me, but The Starship Designer doesn't need any designing help, only for the guy to do what he is told, after all, who's website is it? So he had trouble with them not doing what he wanted, and he's the one paying for it, but they wouldn't do as they were told! But by the fifth guy, he had his own website, then it was only him trying to work on it. But when he was trying to get started on his own, all the libraries closed. So he could do nothing with his website for a long time. So then he came to another point of desperation, and bought a computer. Now able to work on his website himself-barely. He worked and worked and worked on it, did the very best that he could do, but it had to be his website - of his own design, otherwise it would not be his own: The man is probably the most honest person in the world, he detests lies and other nonsense, and so he must be totally genuine. And he doesn't like goofy or phony websites, and so he can't have one of those. He put many things on his website, but was anyone in the world paying attention? He put some of his starship designs on his website, he put great photos on, that few people in the world, if any, could do, he put his own singing on, he put a bunch of short stories on, and here are a few of them, he had many more:
(19 STORIES HERE:
The Lucky Donut, The Talking Horse, The Cave Man, French Vanilla, The Goofy Wacko Computer Geeks, The Dinner Party, Hey Doc, Veggies, Wrong Way Greeting Cards, Fart Man, It Looks Delicious, Mister Negative/Mister Positive, If I Had a... girlfriend, Jim Mahonee, The Late Interviewer, Dying Like Flies, Fisher And Roland, Mr. Overhead, The Hot Babe, Man Sitting Enjoying Himself)
But nothing that he could do was working, and he could not find anyone to help. Again, on his own, he didn't know enough, and did not know what to do. He put signs on his car. Nothing worked. The tree could not help. He thought sure that he could get a website to work. But humans had failed him... A website is not going to work. Now things are getting worse! What else can he do?
From years ago: One of his most favorite things and ideas that he did not want to give up on, was a toy car. Not only a toy car, but a group of toy cars. He worked on designing the "first" one for years. He would come to the tree and show the drawings that he'd made. All of them failures, as his whole life has been a failure. But the tree said nothing. His family said; What a dumb name - "Block Sledge", you should come up with a more pleasant sounding name. They could never comprehend what the man tries to do. And he's not going to try to explain it to an inferior mind, even though they see themselves as superior to the man because they can make money, and the man can't. As the years went on, one of their "good" ideas was that the man should make his Block Sledge into a puzzle, seeing that it was such a simple unadorned design anyway. They thought they knew what the man was doing. They will never comprehend. The tree doesn't need to. And the tree doesn't laugh at his ideas.
The man struggled on, trying to keep himself alive and to get something done, something important.
Then after 24 years, and many drawings, success!!! The man was able to make a successful prototype that was better than he could have imagined! Although it had no wheels yet. (In a way, he was fortunate that he did not use any computer in the designing process. So he did not do it stupidly as those people who use a computer to design things can do. And he was lucky.) The man excitedly showed it to his tree. Although, maybe he should not have, seeing that his toy cars are made of wood, and that trees need to be cut down to make them. But what does a tree think? The tree said nothing.
Then the man excitedly showed it to his mother; "Success after all these years!" And the man's enthusiasm was squashed when the only thing she said was; "But it's not finished, it doesn't have wheels on it". Oh yeah, those round things that roll! Anyone can design a wheel for a toy car, they're simply round! The man is the only person in the world who can design a Block Sledge, having to adhere to extremely strict rules (Or so he thought) for his Block Sledge. It took him 24 years!
He went on to design some other toy cars in the group, and had great success making his new toys! He tried to get someone interested, but there was no one, no one but the tree. But he kept working. It wasn't easy, and getting more and more difficult, as he thought of more and more possibilities for his group of toy cars, no, more than toy cars, he could do airplanes and helicopters! It was becoming more and more overwhelming, and no one was giving him any encouragement or help, and not the tree either. The man was told a crazy idea; send his prototype to a toy company. To put all that work into a thing that no one else in the world could do such a precision job with, and then give it to idiots who would care nothing for it and not appreciate it because they are stupid, and that he would never see it again. At least the tree doesn't come up with stupid ideas.
Many more years went by. The man struggled on, somehow keeping himself alive. Although by now, he's an old man, and there's not much life in him anymore, and getting anything done is becoming increasingly difficult. Getting things done was never easy for the man, so now it's worse. The man wishes that he could eat as much chocolate as he wants, everyday. But he would die because of too much chocolate if he ate more than he does. Some idiots wonder why the man eats chocolate when it gives him trouble. Well, obviously, they have never had a lousy crappy life! And the man hates people like that, the lucky idiots! Others think that that would be not a bad way to die, to eat too much chocolate. But the man knowing about chocolate poisoning, knows that it would be a very bad way to die. Doctors don't know about chocolate poisoning because they are stupid, and won't learn from the man. Not only this, but the chocolate "experts" say to eat dark chocolate, the one with the highest amount of cocoa in it. The poison is in the cocoa you idiots! And these idiots think that they are experts! Yet another example of stupid humans. The man has probably eaten more chocolate than anyone in the world and is probably the world's expert on what chocolate does to the body. And the man thinks that if any people has had chocolate poisoning and gone to a doctor, then they would have been totally misdiagnosed. Chocolate poisoning does effect the gums, but is systemic. It effects mainly the intestines. If someone has it, there's basically two rules; don't eat any more chocolate in the near future, and don't eat any candy. Eating candy can make a bad situation much worse, not only for the teeth, but more so for the intestines. But the man also has a secret weapon, it is a partial antidote to chocolate poisoning, it's called GB-3. The man has eaten so much chocolate in his life trying to keep himself going, that he probably has enough chocolate packages to wallpaper a large room. But he now suspects that chocolate companies have failed him in recent years, because of these stupid chocolate "experts". He knows that at least Hershey's chocolate is not as good as it was some years ago. The idiots! Thinking that they are making chocolate better by increasing the amount of cocoa it has in it! Little do they know about chocolate poisoning. Hershey's; there's usually two chocolates, "dark" chocolate and "milk" chocolate. Milk chocolate should be milk chocolate, not milk dark chocolate! Stupid Hershey's. And Guittard had batches with their chocolate, and the batches had different flavors! Not anymore. Probably no chocolate company in the world knows about chocolate poisoning, that's how stupid the world is! Furthermore, the cocoa stays in the body for at least a week, or at least the effects of it. And the man says to the tree; "All the chocolate companies don't know much about chocolate. And get this, Hershey's; since 1894, Ghirardelli; since 1852, and Guittard; since 1868, and they all call them "chips" (only the stupid people buy the bars). It's not chips! It's drops. If anyone knows that it's drops and not chips, it's the chocolate companies who make them! They might as well put on their foreheads "Look. I'm stupid".
The man would like to try to make a chocolate substitute, but will probably never get a start on it.
The 64 year old virgin as a stand up comedian; "Hey everyone. Some of you know that I'm a virgin. Yes, I am. Are there any virgins here? No? Didn't think so. Well, you know that song; "Everything I Own", It goes like; I would give anything I own, give up my life, my heart, my home. I would give everything I own, just to have you... I love that song! Just to let you know something about me... But I don't go along with all the lyrics exactly." (pause) "NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE MY STUFF!" (pause for laughter) "I don't want you THAT much! Just so you know..." And while I'm on the subject of songs, I can tell you the story of how the first modern song was invented. You see, up to this point, no songs had any rhyming words in them. It was two very old men, who got together and decided that their song would have every few words that would rhyme with each other. They did that, because their memories were so damn bad that they couldn't remember what came next otherwise. Then it caught on, and so everyone started doing it. And the man starts singing; "Around the bend (pause), is the wind". More laughter.
Also, the man tells the tree, that he is probably the world's expert on what is called "mental illness"; because the man is smart, and has had to suffer bad problems that most humans don't have. Actually, as the man has learned, there is no such thing as mental illness. But doctors don't know this, again, because they are stupid. The tragedy of it all, is that because doctors and others don't know what it is that they are dealing with, and because they try to solve problems with talk and drugs, which is the stupid route to take, everyone who has these problems goes on suffering and suffering all of their lives and none of them is smart enough to know any better! Here is the situation; so called "mental illness" is not mental! Therefore it is not at all, psychological! But doctors don't know about these things because they are idiots! And this includes psychiatry, they are all idiots! Psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, none of them know what a sickness is, because they are stupid. IT IS AN SICKNESS. These people think that they can solve a person's problem with talk. That's like a person going to a doctor to get help with a busted leg, and all the doctor does is to say; "You must learn to live with it and change your life accordingly". NO! It's a sickness, don't learn to live with it, get rid of it! Do people want to stay sick? Who would have a flat tire with their car, for example, and decide that they must learn to live with it? Suppose you took your car into a tire shop with a flat tire, and all you got was; "Well, you'll just have to learn to live with that". They make the man angry with their stupidity! A person cannot be talked out of a sickness that their body has, anymore than someone can talk you out of having a busted leg, or talk your car out of having a flat tire! It's not going to happen. It's a sickness, get rid of it!
People have basically two parts, other than the spirit; the body, and the mind. The mind is not the body and the body is not the mind, and the brain is not the mind, but again, doctors don't know this because they are stupid. (Have I said humans are stupid?) Furthermore, the mind cannot be sick. (But it can be twisted, so that a person cannot think rationally, but this is something different, it has to do with what a person believes, and not with their ability to function in their life.) No one in the world has a sick mind (but it seems like some humans do), and this is because the mind is not part of the body, but doctors don't know this because they are... So therefore, the sick part is the body! And if a person's brain is sick, then that means that their whole body is sick as well. It is not only in the brain, but doctors don't know this because... This is why doctors and others will never find a cure for "mental illness" because they are not thinking about it in the correct way! This is the tragedy of it all. Humans are so stupid it makes the man angry. When it comes to "mental illness", humans can't be any more stupid!
The man lives in a myriad of unfinished projects, every place he looks is an unfinished project, for he doesn't seem to be able to finish anything. He gets a start on something that was a great idea, but as time goes on, he gets frustrated and lonely; no one to show it to. It's very difficult for the man to start on a project, and to keep working on it until the finish. So if there's no reward at the end, then it would be a tremendous disappointment. And it could come to the point of having suicidal thoughts. After all, the man has had a lifetime of failures. And knowing that he has a precarious state of mind, he knows he needs to be careful, and so he wants to avoid that. The man knows that it would take a long time, but he could try to do a project from start to finish, but he needs to know that at the end, he will win, rather than lose. All of the man's life, he has been the loser. And all of the man's life, there's been no one there to help.
The man is a tortured soul of never being able to do what he might want to do, never having a business... and never getting a woman...
If there was something that the man could do that would change his life, then he would do it. But he cannot think of anything that he does not need someone else for.
One night in desperation, since the man now has a computer, he had a try at three of those computer matchmaking services, for he does continue to want a woman. It was clear that the first two were not going to work. But he spent a long time filling out all the many questions of the third. Then at the end of it all, the thing basically said; we found no matches, go someplace else. That didn't surprise him any. But chances are, the man would not have money enough anyway. How is the man going to have any money for women with no money coming in? It doesn't seem like the man could ever have a woman.
The man wonders if it's possible to die of loneliness.
Some of the time when he is getting around in his car he's on the verge of crying. The tears in his eyes makes it more difficult to see where he is going. If he has an appointment someplace and he's waiting, he can begin to cry, thinking about his life, his struggle, all those wasted years, for one reason or another, not being able to do what he wanted, to have what he wanted... And he knew he needed to make money to be able to have those things that he wanted. But the man has barely survived through the years. Nothing ever worked out for him, he was not able to make the money, much less have a business. He tried and tried to be The W. G. I. (World's Greatest Investor), But maybe all he was, was "The World's Greatest Idiot". All he needs to do is think about his life, all the things he missed in his life, all the things he wanted to do, but could not do, and never getting a woman, and he begins crying.
The man laments; if only... If only he had not been sick all his life... If only he could have been like normal humans... If only he could have done the things he wanted to do in his life and been able to think... Then the sky would have been the limit, instead of almost everything in his life stopping him. He could have been a great singer, and a great inventor, and a great designer, and maybe the sky would not have been the limit... He could have been like Darci Lynne, and like Steve Jobs, and like Elon Musk... He might have made Warren Buffett seem like a poor man who doesn't know how to make money with stocks... He was certainly smart enough. Who knows what he might have been able to do, if only so much was not in his way... And if he could have gotten others to help. If only he had had family and friends that were on his side if nothing else, instead of them being against him all the time.
But the man ponders... If life had been easy, would he have been smart??? But what is being smart worth when one can do nothing??? Would he have rather been the average dodo head, and been able to do what he wanted... But would whatever that was to be, would it have been worth while things to do? Seems like whichever which way he reasons it, he's a loser. The man is nothing but a loser. And what a dumb thing to do; talking to a tree.
But the greatest tragedy about the man, is that he was not a Quasimodo or anything like that. He had a lot going for him; he had a body built like a tank, a great set of lungs, he had super legs, he had excellent hearing, he had an excellent mind and superb judgment. What bicyclist in the world is smart enough to do zero to 20 MPH in 4 seconds? He could do things that most humans can't do, but that no one noticed. If only... But he had a crapped up brain, and other problems. He could have done great things, much better than most humans, for he was far above average.
Many times the man has wished that he was God so that he could know what to do and what not to do to keep himself going, and what to do when he has trouble with his body... But then he immediately becomes aware that if he was God, he wouldn't have any problems! And he would know exactly what to do to stay and be in good health, but then he catches himself again; God doesn't need to know anything about staying in good health... He HAS no problems!
The point came in the man's life when he learned that his life and Vincent (van Gogh's) life is astoundingly similar. The man had mostly ignored art, and therefore artists all his life because he saw art as mostly not a practical thing. So it took a special thing to bring his attention to Vincent, which was Doctor Who. And this episode of Doctor Who, Vincent and the Doctor makes the man cry. So then he studied Vincent's life: Like the man, Vincent could not find a woman for him, although, Vincent did get at least one woman, but she left him. They were both starving, he couldn't blame her. Vincent roamed all around, and could not find a woman or any close friend, and could not get along with anyone. Like with the man, he had a bad life, and like the man, he wasn't able to achieve success. And like with the man, Vincent had a dodo headed brother who only gave him small amounts of money to keep him alive and going. The point came in Vincent's life when he had had enough, and he shot himself. If he did it because he wanted to leave this world, or because he thought he was going to a better place, the man is not sure. Vincent had a crappy life all of his life, and went to a bad end. The tragedy of it all is that Vincent never "got his success", until after his death. Maybe it will be this way for the man also.
But for the man, he does not want to go to heaven. He doesn't know anything about heaven, and hates God. But he doesn't want to go to hell either, it would most likely be worse than the man's life, and it would be forever. The man wishes that there was a third place... Why must God control everything, but it seems that He does not take responsibility for anything.
He tries to make a special box, if that is the only thing he can do sooner than he dies, but he couldn't get only that done. The man beginning to wonder if there's more going on than only his own problems: He begins to wonder if God Himself is working against him. Why would that be? Isn't it bad enough that God has not been helping? If God is not going to help, He should not hinder. He begins to regret having ever been a Christian, for what good did it ever do him? All he got from God was lies, giving him false hope. The man can relate more and more with the Devil. Like with Christians, God is a liar and not true to his word.
Was the man supposed to do something in his life? If so, how could he have gotten anything done with all of his problems? Does God expect miracles from the man? What does God want? How could God be a loving person, and let this man's life be ruined? Didn't God know that a human can take only so much, and not any more? Why didn't God give more help? Why has the man not been shown only a speck of light in the dark of the man's life for decades? The idiots say, the man tells the tree, "that it's darkest before the dawn". But in the man's life, it's just dark. Dark all the time. It never gets light. Why does the man keep getting the short end of the stick all the time? Hasn't the man been tortured long enough? The man thinks that he has not been a bad person. It's been a terrible struggle for the man, but he is trying to do his best, despite much trouble from other humans, and from his problems that he was given. And so he does not want to do to others as they have done to him. He tries to fight unfairness and wrongdoing. He tells the tree that those humans who don't have enough of a backbone to stand up against wrongdoing, cannot be "upright people". The man tells the tree that he has suffered so much and for so long that no one in the world would not have turned against God, and that he has suffered much more than Job of the Bible. Job had it all; he had a wife, he had children, he had a number of Ferraris in his garages, he had everything a man could want, then it was taken away. But it's a very different thing to never have anything from the beginning, and go all through life struggling to be someone and then to go to a bad end. The man begins yelling at God: "Why are you doing this to me God? Why can't I have what normal people have? Why can't I do what I want, damn you God! I hate you!" Must the man be a "good" Christian to be a success? Madonna was a great success, but was not a Christian at all. The longer this goes on, the more angry the man becomes at God. How will this end? How could it end? The man wishes he could hit God. The man wishes he could throw god into Hell, and see if He likes it. But what can the man do to God? Nothing. Nothing except to not do what God wants. The man thinks that the movie; "Frank vs. God" is interesting, but does not like the way it ends.
With life being rotten for the man, several times he has wished that he could erase himself from existence, so that the man would never have been. Because life, his life, has been such a pain. But knowing that God Himself could not do that for him, because everyone is forever and has no beginning or end. So instead, the man pleads with God; why didn't He leave him where he was, sooner than he was brought into this nasty world? For the man knows where he came from. Christians and other religious people don't know where they came from because they are stupid and never think about it.
The idiots of the world who believe in reincarnation believe that they have had many past lives, and that they will continue to have lives until they get themselves to God, and that they first came from God, and that they have unlimited chances at it. Who's dumb enough to believe that load of crap? If they were first there with God, then why did they need to leave? The truth is that no one who has become human (except Jesus), was with God in the beginning. But if they were, then they would not need to leave from God. They believe that humans came from all the lesser creatures and that they are all working their way up to humans and then to God. But if this was true, all the least of the creatures such as insects, not to mention maybe viruses, would begin to disappear from the earth as all these souls worked their way up toward being human and then to God. But this will never happen, of course, duh.
And those people who don't believe in the existence of God are the greatest idiots of all, and that all humans should know where they are going to end up, at the end, but that many of them are not smart enough to know that. One should know where they are going, humans should at least know that!
The man points out to the tree, that there are basically two types of stupidity: The regular everyday type that we all have, because we are all human and so we all make mistakes. But then there's the very very bad type that some humans get, because they believed in a lie. When this happens a person's mind gets twisted and so therefore can no longer think rationally, and this is a permanent stupidity. It's bad enough that we make mistakes, but then we see what we did wrong. But with this permanent stupidity, the person never sees his mistake. Because he twisted his mind in order to believe in a lie. Such as the reincarnation lie, for example.
But the truth is, that with all humans, sooner than they ever came into this world, were in a holding place of limbo: The man tells the tree that he knows that he has existed forever in a timeless place, and had no beginning; that he was in a place where he had nothing and knew nothing except that there might be something else, something other than himself. He had no joy, but no pain. Why didn't God leave him there? He was not happy, but not unhappy, he knew nothing of these things, he had no suffering. Why didn't God leave him there? Why did God give him such a miserable life? What good does it do himself or anyone?
The man tells the tree that in the eyes of humans, aren't they guilty if they see something bad happening, but do nothing about it when they could have? Then isn't God guilty? God is supposedly The Almighty, knowing all, seeing all, all powerful, sitting around watching EVERYTHING, watching all the pathetic stupid tiny creatures living and dying, making all manner of mistakes, some of them deadly, people getting hurt in all sorts of ways, and yet God sits there watching, and does nothing, when He can supposedly do anything in the universe. And not only that, but it was God that started the whole mess to begin with. And not only that, but God has no problems, none at all! And not only that, but God has nothing to do, unlike us poor humans. Hasn't the man been tortured long enough? When will it end? Hasn't the man been prevented from doing what he wants for long enough? Must the man kiss God's butt to be a success? Is this going to go on for the man's entire life until he dies? Why has the man been given a life if he cannot live it? Why is the man here on earth if he can do nothing? God gets 52 days in a year, every year, as "The Lord's Day", why doesn't the man get one day? WHY DOES'NT THE MAN GET ONE GOOD DAY? ONE GOOD DAY IN THE MAN'S LIFE! The man wishes he could throw God into hell. No wonder God and the Devil don't get along. Maybe God is worse! The man is angry at God and the world; all those people who have fun and enjoy life, because the man does not have that. Damn, it's like the man is Quasimodo. But he's not!
The man points out to the tree, that God spelled in reverse, is dog. And that dogs and God are exact opposites. Is this only a coincidence? Dogs are all about what someone else wants, totally loyal and attentive. But God wants everyone else to be that way with Him, He wants us to be like dogs with Him. Satan did not want to be that way.
And many humans the man thinks have it wrong about God, for example, God could not have any such job as a fireman or a paramedic or a doctor. Because in God's view, not everyone is worth saving, He would let some people die. So God would get fired from such jobs.
The man says to the tree, why should he be on God's side, when God has not been on his side? Not only that, but God has not given the man any hope except lies.
The man not able to get anyone interested in anything. At this point, he began crying a lot. He cried through the months that went by. He had some great success with a new way to design starships using paper bags. But again, same old problem. No good friends, no girlfriends, family that cares as much as a tree does. The man's state of mind has gotten so bad that when he thinks of a new great idea, he forgets about it on purpose, knowing that he will not be able to do anything with it. By now the man's confidence is mostly gone. He hates God all the more. Time goes by.
At this point, there's only a few things that the man has not given up on. What makes it worse, is that the man has discovered that the world really is passing him by; with "cheap knockoffs" of his ideas: Of all the multitude of toy cars that people have made out of wood, here is a company that is making block sledges, and this is 42 years after the man conceived of his group of toy cars. And they are not nearly as well designed as the man's Block Sledge, because they used a computer, and they aren't nearly as smart as the man, and didn't put anywhere near the thought into them, but they are block sledges. They don't call them that of course... He bought a few of them, for he needed to know what his nearest competition might be. This company paints theirs in various color schemes, and so therefore gives each version a goofy name. The man's Blocks Sledges are to remain bare wood. And get this; they say; "We have been working on a radical new type of body and whole new approach to our builds, a difficult trick in woodworking. But we persisted and the result is pushing the boundaries of woodworking and craftsmanship." Give me a break! The man did it more than a decade earlier and all by himself, and without a computer. And not only that, but many years ago, the man went far beyond this, further than these people will ever go in their lifetimes. The man tells the tree that it's important to point out that the only remarkable thing about them is that they resemble the man's Block Sledges, and so they are attractive because of that.
In desperation, the man decided to try to manufacture hand made Block Sledges out of exotic woods. But working with exotic hard woods is much more difficult than ordinary woods... So it did not go well, and he needs to buy special machines, of which he does not have the money for. Maybe he should not do them in hard woods, but how else could he justify the high price that he will need to charge assuming he could ever sell any, for such a precision hand made toy of wood, for they are not for the young... The other company that is making block sledges are making them for toddlers, as all companies do when they make toys out of wood, and that is what makes the man's Block Sledges so very different.
The man tells the tree that he is beginning to lose his ability to enjoy anything... And the man hopes that he does not sink so low as to want a cockroach as a pet. Being very unhappy most of the time, and when he gets into a very "down" mood, the man feels like killing himself only to hurt the people around him and his family, if it would not be dooming himself, and how would he get his revenge, if he was dead? And his family would probably be glad that he was gone. So very sour grapes. Sour grapes for a sour life. So what can he do but keep trudging on? The man has a horrible horrible life.
Once in a while, the man looks up into the sky, and wonders why he has such a bad life, and begins to cry. And it's like he is all alone on a planet by himself, there is no one around and no one in his life. It's like he might as well be on another planet. Strange.
Many many days the man has started his day with the thought; "What am I going to have to suffer with today?" If nothing else, if only he had had a woman... That would have made a huge difference in his life. About as close to attractive women with great bodies the man gets, is to see photos of them, and sometimes he has a dream. He's seen many many photos of them, and he wonders, where are these women? Certainly not in his life! But many times the man has passed by women, knowing he could not have them. A multitude of times in the man's life, he has wanted a woman. But for one reason or another, there wasn't one for him, it never happened. The man gets angry with God; "God. why didn't I ever get a woman? And if I get one when I can't have sex with her, then what's the point to that? Damn you God! What's the point in getting a woman when it's too late! Damn you God! Why wasn't there a woman for me? Was that too much to ask? If I was supposed to have gotten a woman somehow years ago, how could I have had one when I've never had any reliable income? Much of the time I had no phone. Some of the time I had no car or bank account. And I never had a computer or credit card. I barely had any of the things that most people have! The only thing I did have plenty of, was sperm! But no woman to give it to! Damn you! Why did you give me such a crappy life?!"
The man wishes he could somehow time travel to return to the 1960s to have another chance, an era when there were a few women in the man's life, and when he was plenty young enough, and could have had sex with a woman. But it's too late now, his chance is gone, which makes him all the more angry with God. No woman ever showed much interest in him, and he couldn't seem to get one on his own. Of course there are things to do with a woman without having sex with her, but what woman who has not yet had children, would want a man who cannot have sex with her and cannot give her children? What a nasty God to torture the man in this way. Why did God do this? Surely of all people, God knew that the man wanted a woman. With normal humans, they are not thought of as having an abundance of sperm, because they have other things in abundance, the usual things, such as cars, a house of their own, kids... But unlike with most humans, for most of the man's life, the only thing he had in abundance through the years was his sperm. It seemed like all the other guys got the women.
It happened gradually. The man had no intention of ending up a virgin, and with no chance of having children. But life want on, he got older and older, he became more and more desperate, and the hardships never stopped coming. But he kept thinking, don't worry too much, someday he will get a woman.
But he knew the truth in his own life; that IF NOTHING EVER CHANGES, NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE. This has been true in the man's life. Nothing ever changes, so nothing will change. But he kept having hope that someday, something would change. But NOTHING EVER CHANGED. NOTHING EVER DOES. NO ONE EVER HELPED. Then the day came, when it was too late. It seemed that no woman really ever wanted him, they were all happy with someone else, it seems.
The man is tempted to commit suicide only to show everyone that he needed help.
And those idiots who's lives are easy who think; that all the man needs to do is to take charge, and to make a change, and then things will all be different... BUT IT'S EASY ENOUGH FOR NORMAL PEOPLE TO SAY! But they don't have a clue as to what the man was up against, the problems he was forced to live with, the things he had to suffer with totally alone by himself. It would have crushed most people to eradication.
The point came, when it was clear that it was too late. All those years went by, and the man did not know THAT GOD WAS NOT GOING TO LET THE MAN HAVE ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE A NORMAL LIFE. It was like God had tricked him. But what can the man do to God?
If nothing else, maybe the man can have some sort of success; some sort of business, for he needs something... Some sort of success with something, with some money coming in, so that he can at least take care of himself, and maybe prosper a bit sooner than he dies. The man wonders why he continues to be alive if he can never get anything done. Does the Man have any hope at all?
When he cries for hours, he wonders if he could cry himself to death. Or if he could go to sleep and never wake up. His life is unbelievably bad. If the man loses all hope, this will be the end of him.
The man is also a great story teller. Maybe he can get a book published... About his life. But how could he find the publisher that he needs who won't do him wrong, as almost everyone in his life has?
Who's life is so bad that they cry for years? The man has been crying through the years, even Vincent's life wasn't this bad, but Vincent did not get to be old, he killed himself at age 37.
The man saw the movie "I am Elizabeth Smart", and thinks it is great. However, he has had such a hellish life that he wishes that he had been Elizabeth Smart. Why couldn't he have gotten that life? To have had a nice life with a loving family, then to have a hellish time for only about nine months, and then to have a nice life again. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MUCH BETTER LIFE THAN THE HELLISH LIFE THAT THE MAN HAS HAD.
The man is very much "behind the times" with the shows and the internet and news. So once in awhile he learns of things mostly by happenchance. Only recently, he discovered Skilyr Hicks on "America's got talent" and her great song "Brand New Day". He loves the song and the way she played it and sang it, and can relate perfectly to the opening lyrics: "My heart is sad and filled with sorrow. I know there's hope for a better tomorrow". If only her and the man could have gotten together... She probably never knew of Nimoy's song. What a great tragedy that she died.
(Theory of gravity)
Anything which is falling, is not moving, as in traveling toward what it is said that it will hit. But rather, what it is said that it will hit, is traveling toward the thing which is “falling”.
The earth (and its atmosphere) is traveling at a certain speed, in the direction of “up”. Everything which is said to be “at rest”, is traveling at this same speed with the earth. The things that “fall” and “hit” the earth are within the earth’s travel curve. Things that the earth does not hit, are without the travel curve or are things which can escape it.
If the earth was not moving in the way that it is, we would have no gravity. In effect, the earth is moving in all directions at the same time in a similar way as a ball that is rolling around in a circle is moving in all directions at the same time.
A certain combination of turning forces, like centrifugal force, is what gravity is.
This explains how it is that gravity feels as though it increases when we go up in an elevator. Because in situations like this, our speed has been increased on top of the speed that we were going already.
This explains how it is that gravity seems to disappear when we are falling. Because when we are disconnected from the earth, we no longer feel the push.
This explains how it is that objects, regardless of their weight, can “hit” the earth at the same time when dropped. This is because the earth approaches all objects at the same speed, regardless of the weights of falling things.
This explains how it is that “falling” objects, “fall” at a steady speed, and do not continue to increase their speed as they get closer to the earth, (except for increased or decreased drag). This is because there is no such thing as gravitational attraction.
This explains how it is that things are lighter at the equator and heavier at the poles. Because gravity is a force of movement.
Extremely lonely man turns against other humans and confides only to a tree, and yells at God.
What I have in mind for my book: This, preferred cover. Less distance between lines. Text; Font Arial, print size 22?. Book dimensions; wide - about 4.25". tall - about 6.75".
If you never stand up for anything, you'll never fall down, but also you'll never rise above The Complacent. If you never "walk a journey" that might turn out to be very long and difficult, you'll never stumble and fail, but also you'll never have the chance to accomplish the extraordinary. If you never try to do anything great for others, you're a FAILURE from the start. "Perfect" People and "Superior" People are flawed and erroneous.
Gary Wayne Stevens